As we reminisce on 30 years of life on earth, many are aware of the successful jobs Kathi maintained during those 30 years (babysitter, deli worker, office manager, accountant, controller). Few, however, are aware of the variety of other “jobs” Kathi attempted but never added to her resume.
Professional Water Ski Instructor
Veterinarian
Her attempts to revive a dead bird, although heroic, proved futile, and her license was revoked because of improper burial techniques.
Playboy Model
While her legs were to die for, her boobs were much to be desired, and thus, she could scratch Miss July off her list of aspirations.
Concert Pianist
The Alpine Polka played for the 1000th time caused Bach and Beethoven to turn over in their graves. Plus, Carnegie Hall’s dress code didn’t allow for scrunchies or knee high socks.
Professional Hair Stylist
Do I need to even justify the reason she lost this job?
She learned the trade from her mother.
Bathroom Janitor
She made an early exit from this job because of her phobia of pooping in public facilities. Having to adjust your body clock to only allow for BM’s outside of the hours of 9-5 is not healthy for the intestinal tract.
Contestant on “The Biggest Gainer”
I bet you didn’t even know this show aired in the early 1990’s as a predecessor to the current hit show “The Biggest Loser.” It was canceled early on due to poor ratings. No one wanted to see skinny minis work out.
Professional Athlete
Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Kathi that you had to weigh more than 72 pounds if you wanted to have any type of a career on the court. Additionally, her mother’s reputation as a poor sport at Gus Macker tournaments preceded her and killed the career before it even took shape.
While Kathi did not quite meet the standards all of the above jobs required, there are a few jobs that she is no doubt FANTASTIC at. She is the best…
Sister, Daughter…
Wife, Mother…
AND
Aunt.
And we have been so blessed to have her in our lives!
HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY KATHI!
WE LOVE YOU!
4 comments:
Welcome to the club Kathi, I hope you had a great birthday yesterday. Im sooooo glad my sister doesn't blog! Kim, you're very daring. I have a feeling she won't let you get away with this.
This (awesome) post makes me want to go call Shannon. In fact, I'm going to...
I love this post! You can add a great cousin to that list as well :)
AWESOME POST! I'm so glad that I can add "friend" to the list of areas in which Kathi is extremely successful!
Post a Comment